The Big Impact of Little Words

In a complex world, full of jargon and viral phrases, we can lose sight of the power of short well-chosen words to enrich our conversations.

This article showcases small, generative words that ignite interest, expand ideas, and open our minds to constructive ways forward.

Inside of the use of a word is meaning that flowers inside of each person that’s using it.

Judith E. Glaser, 2014.

In this article, I celebrate the power of small words. When we speak or write, big words can confuse, alienate or distract. By contrast, small words, used appropriately, make us feel good, are energising, and create and expand possibilities.

The small words I offer support progress. They add value because they fuel our conversations, build relationships and generate optimism and confidence. In doing so, they encourage “meaningful engagement and inspire positive action.”

The ‘How To’ of Small Words

What are you doing with your words?

Stavros & Torres, 2018.

A brief note before we start.

Appropriate use is a key point to remember when you use small words.

This requires that we:

> Attend to Context: Use small words when it makes sense to use them, rather than when they are unlikely to add value.

> Adapt Tone: Emphasis and vocal nuance can make or break our use of small words. If you emphasise a word, even make it a statement or a question when not called for or intended, you may be misunderstood. This can cause confusion, anger or harm the relationship.

Now I will show you how to use or misuse small words for maximum impact.

THREE SMALL WORDS

Let’s start with small words you can start using today.

1.     SO

This small word acts as a conversation extender and shows interest.

For instance:

Your staff member has just outlined how a work matter might be dealt with. After the explanation, you nod your head gently and, with a curious tone, say so. You might even widen your eyes and raise your eyebrows. So is an inquiry and an invitation to say more, subtly affirming the worthiness of their input.

Using so in a way that may be interpreted as an accusation or a scornful question is less likely to elicit further detail.

2.     YET

This is one of my favourites and I propose two uses.

The first is using yet (or not yet) at the end of a sentence. You can do this in your self-talk or when someone still needs to master a skill or capability.

With ‘not yet’ you understand that you’re on a learning curve. It gives you a path into the future.

Dweck, 2014

Professor Carol Dweck, well known for her work on fixed and growth mindsets, describes (not) yet as a measure of how you approach failure.

Adopting a growth mindset assumes that you can improve, learn, change, and evolve through your own efforts and experience. As a result, you are more likely to look for opportunities to develop and grow. Studies suggest that using a growth mindset can be associated with such positive wellbeing benefits as improved resilience, motivation, performance, and self-regulation.

For instance:

In trying to rejig my website, I messed up a PNG file and could not be retrieved. I felt disappointed and angry, and my self-talk was full of blame. When I flipped my internal dialogue to say ‘Look, you had a go and have not solved it yet,’ I felt more peaceful and regained the clarity to work it out.

In the workplace, if you complete a piece of work in good faith, then get told you have misunderstood the instructions, you might say “I’m really sorry I misunderstood. I just haven’t gotten the hang of it yet.”

A second use of yet is instead of ‘but.’ A former leader of mine used yet when she wanted to offer a different perspective or new information. Yet is softer than ‘but.’ It implies more respect for the original input and suggests that there is another view or more to add.

Used effectively, it might sound like this: “I think you’ve made a great point, yet I’d like to suggest that …”

Again, how you say it will make all the difference as emphasising yet may be interpreted as a ‘but.’

3.     AND

You may already know about the use of and instead of but. If not, you can read more here.

Instead, I want to focus on the use of and as a question.

Within each question you ask is an embedded quest of your own curiosity and assumed request that your conversation partner answer it.

Moon, H. 2022.

And invites your conversation partner to tell you more. It offers space to reflect further, to extend ideas. It is also a short form of the question And What Else?

For instance:

Your staff member has just suggested a couple of professional development options. To open up space for even more ideas, you ask and in a curious and enquiring tone. This can potentially unlock even more possibilities, especially ones that have not yet surfaced.

Delivery tone is key. A strong tone may mean and is mistaken for a demand.

Why Small Words Work

As SO, YET, AND have shown, small can be powerful.

If small works, and it does, used appropriately, these words can move us forward, inspiring positive emotions, positive potential and positive actions.

The distinguished Dr David Cooperrider, from the Center for Appreciative Inquiry notes that

… when we use this concentrated capacity to activate conversations that open our world to new possibilities, elevate … purpose, and build bonds of mutual regard and positive power …”

we can start to create “possibility thinking.” This is where a “positive legacy” begins.

SO?